Inheriting limiting beliefs

Recently, I discovered I'm a bit weird.

Now, let's be honest, everyone is weird in their own way. Everyone has quirks and things they grew up with in their family that seemed completely normal, only to then discuss them with people outside the family and get some strange looks...

I had one pointed out to me a week or so ago - I have a strange competitive thing in my head which says in the evening I must wait until someone else on my street has turned on a light before I can turn on a light. I never thought this was strange, but my partner noticed it and asked me why I did it. I had no answer. I sent a message to my sisters to ask if they did it too, thinking it may have been a family thing. They said no...

So where did this thing come from? I still have no idea, but it got me thinking about other things I do on autopilot that I can't really explain. Analysing some of them, I can see that my parents did the same thing when I was growing up so naturally this became a "this is the way X is done".

Why is this important? Well, when we become accustomed to doing things we stop noticing them. When we stop noticing them, they become bigger and transform from a small feeling into a completely debilitating metaphorical anchor of a belief that you drag unknowingly around with you, holding you back from where you could be.

Culture plays a big part in these things and can be a cause from what I've now decided to call "inherited limiting beliefs". In the same principle of "If you can see it, you can be it" (and vice versa), if you see family and friends going about with limiting beliefs as you are growing up, it is very easy to then believe that "this is the way things are" and so you start creating your own metaphorical anchor based on what you've witnessed.

These inherited limiting beliefs can stay with us for a long time, especially when we're not aware of them. It is also really difficult to convince your brain to stop doing something you've done forever! But it is possible to do, if you want to.

That is the key - WANT. If I want something I will do it. Like running, or yoga I have made myself want to do these things so now these are things I happily go towards rather than shying away from.

"Well that's all well and good, but what does this have to do with turning on lights at weird times?" - Good question, glad you asked!

The most common reason for us not wanting to do things is because of things we tell ourselves - the metaphorical anchor:
"I can't run"
"I can't cook"
"I can't wear that"

Actually... you can, if you want to. If you want to, you'll find the barriers that make you think these things and work to remove them.

Take running, I thought I couldn't run, I hated it. Then I broke it down and realised I'd been telling myself I hated it because of specific circumstances. When I chipped those away and tried shorter distances and no pressure environments, I discovered the joy, and now I can run!

In the same way, I'm now looking at my weird need to turn on lights only when others have turned them on. I still have no idea where this came from, but at least now I've made myself aware of it, I can work on it and remove it if I want to. This may not be a big limiting belief in the same way as "I can't run", but it's still causing unnecessary micro-stresses if I think I can't turn on a light when I might need one.

By changing our mindsets and challenging the beliefs we hold, we grow and we become better versions of ourselves.

Therefore, my challenge to you this week is to try to catch yourself if you find yourself thinking "I can't do X". There will be a reason why you think this. Delve a little deeper, think about where this belief came from, how it started, and ask yourself "If I wanted to do X, how would I break this down so it becomes achievable?". Because if you believe it and you want it, you can achieve it!

Have fun :) and if you want to leave a comment, I'd be interested to read your thoughts on this.