Knowing your own value

It is very easy to get caught up in things and lose yourself. Whether it is work, family or hobbies, there are times when you become so immersed in doing "things" that you forget to stop, look around and be present to what you're actually doing.

Being present is quite new to me. It's only really been this year that I've understood what it means and why it is so important. Spending your entire life working, or running around after other people, you're experiencing the present but you're not mindful of it. Time drags or stands still. You're either so busy you can't think straight or so exhausted that you don't want to do anything at all. And in all of that, you look backwards and think - where did that time go? What did I gain from it?

It is now Easter weekend. We're already into April, the days are getting longer, the weather is getting warming, Spring is blooming into life again. The job hunt that I mentioned in the last post is on going but speeding up. And on Friday after waiting for a week I received a job offer!

They had low balled me... After various positive conversations and encouraging signs, being told how impressive I was to them and how much they wanted me at their company, they offered me less than my current job and less than they'd initially mentioned.

About 6 months ago I would have considered this job offer as something positive - I'm moving into a new area, I need to gain some experience, I shouldn't ask for too much because then they won't want me and I should be grateful they are employing me at all.

Dear Reader, you should never be in a position where whoever you work for is making you feel like you should be grateful to them for employing you. If that is the case, then it is likely that they don't value you. Value is not being there 24/7 for everyone. Value is not time based. It's not really even role based or money based. Value is what you offer and what you create.

The dictionary definition of value is: "the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something". Value is different for different people and different things. Different people assign different value to the same thing! The skills that I have are valuable in the field I work in and the field I'm moving into, but they would be worthless to someone wanting me to paint a masterpiece or write a wonderful song! That's not where my value lies.

A great example of value came when I was lucky enough to go to the Netherlands recently. We visited the Keukenhof gardens, from here you can see the world famous tulip fields (absolutely stunning and I would highly recommend to anyone who loves plants and flowers!). The tulip fields are a rainbow of colours and have some of the most beautiful spring flowers in them, and yet to the farmers who grow them, the flowers aren't what they're interested in. The flowers hold no value for them. They grow bulbs, not flowers. You will never see a tulip from the tulip field in a shop, because they are "topped" in the fields (flowers cut off) to allow the bulbs to absorb as much energy and as many nutrients as possible from the sun and soil to allow them to flourish. The flowers would take away those nutrients from the valuable bulbs - so the valueless flowers are removed.

This absolutely flummoxed me when I learned about it - the flowers are gorgeous, why are they wasted??

Except, they aren't wasted, they are composted for nutrients. The flowers were never intended to be valuable so the farmers don't focus on them. Tourists focus on the flowers! Tourists find value in viewing the beauty of the fields before they are topped, but for those who grow them, the value of the tulip is beneath the soil, not above it.

The same assignment of value is as true in everyday life as it is in the tulip fields. If something is valuable to you, you will spend your time, energy and money to get that value from it. For the farmers in the tulip fields, this means a year long growing process to get the highest value bulbs at the end of the season, ready to start the process all over again for the next year. They spend their time, energy and money for the whole year, making sure that the next crop of bulbs will be as valuable as possible.

My value lies in my skills. I have spent a lot of time, energy and money building them and honing them so that they allow me to do the things I'm good at. If someone would like to get value from me, then they need to be willing to spend time, energy and money on acquiring them. My skills are important, and now I know their value, it's time to stop underselling them.  Now that I know my own value, I can start making it valuable to others too.

So I will respond to the job offer, I will negotiate and see if they truly value the skills I'm offering. If not, then never mind, I have other potential offers in the wings and we'll see how they pan out. If this company really wants me, then they will value me too. Now that I know my own value, I will make sure of that!