Meaning

Have you ever been in a situation where the impression you got at the time turned out to be wildly different from the reality?
You get a text saying "we need to talk" from a loved one, you panic and think that something is really wrong! Then it turns out they are excited to tell you they are going to climb Everest!

The meaning that we give to situations is important. It drives our thinking, our behaviour and even our future situations based on what we felt and what we made the situation mean.

This week, my partner, in a very serious voice said "I've made a decision without you". I managed to catch myself before running off down a methaphorical rabbit hole thinking he was leaving me, or he was going to become a monk, or he was dying or all the usual nonsense that Chatty Brain brings up.

It then took him what seemed at the time to be about 3 years to tell me that he'd bought a thing for the TV... nothing ground breaking, no one died, just something to watch different things on TV with...  

If I had allowed myself to go off down that rabbit hole, I would have got into a complete mess of anxiety, worry and misery before being told something very mundane. It would have then sat with me for the rest of the day as Chatty Brain berated me for being so very stupid as to get so upset over something so small. God I must be an idiot...

Except, we do this all the time. We use experiences from the past to inform the present, which then create the future. We end up in spirals of negativity, anxiety and depression because we tell ourselves things which aren't true and then beat ourselves up for believing them!

Well that's not fair! What if we did it the other way? What if we choose to think of something positive when these things happen?  At that point "I've made a decision without you" becomes:
"I've bought you a puppy because we've been talking about getting a dog"
"I've booked a weekend away because we've both been working lots at the moment"
"I can't be bothered to cook tonight so I've decided to take you out for a meal"

Or... "I've bought a thing for the TV" (side note, it's very good and very clever and I'm glad he made the decision!)

The meaning we give to these situations informs everything, and if we don't pause and give ourselves time to consider the possible positives as well as the negatives then we create our futures from places which will hurt us.

So this week, set an intention to be mindful. Catch yourself in these situations and let yourself pause and consider a positive that could come from a situation rather than a negative. Who knows, you may end up with a puppy or a load of new TV channels!