My sister lives in the future

My sister has recently moved to New Zealand. She has moved there for work and is getting ready to start a brand new job (and life) on the other side of the world. She is now 13 hours ahead of me which is baffling... In my brain, she now lives in the future.

So far we have managed to organise a video chat - 7 pm my time, 8 am her time. I'm settling in for the evening and winding down, she's up and ready to go for the new day ahead. I'm having my tea, she's having her breakfast. I'm getting stuff together for the next day, she's already in tomorrow.

All of this will get even more confusing in a few weeks when the UK moves to British summer time, then a few weeks later, NZ moves to the end of daylight savings time. In the space of two or three weeks, our clocks will go forwards, hers will go back and I will inevitably call her at 4 am having got the time wrong, even though I now have NZ time saved on my phone (you've got to love technology).

My sister and I are very close, it's taken quite a while to rationalise the fact that she is moving so far away. This has included her giving me some houseplants which she told me I could have and she wasn't fussed if they died. I was adamant I would keep them alive for her so she can have them when she comes back... in at least three years time... Said houseplant then went through the usual winter routine of losing leaves, and my overthinking mind convinced itself this meant that my relationship with my sister would be irreparably damaged and she'd now never come back from NZ...

All because of a few dead leaves I was inconsolable for about two weeks, my sister hadn't even left the country by this point and told me it was fine and that's what the plant does! But still, I was devastated that I couldn't even keep a plant alive for her. How would I keep her close when she moves so far away if I can't even keep some leaves alive??

And then, a few weeks later, some new leaves formed...

Of course they did! It's the natural cycle of things, Spring is coming, plants start blooming, Laura gets happier and gives herself a metaphorical slap for being a dope. It was fortuitous that the leaves grew before my sister left for NZ as it showed me that it wasn't my fault like my brain had told me, and instead was the natural cycle of a plant, forced to live in captivity in my house.

It also made me realise that I hadn't been looking after myself properly. I was so afraid of her leaving that I was grabbing on to anything to keep her close and neglecting things to keep me healthy - sleep, water, nutritious food, exercise. From the point that the leaves grew on the houseplant, I started looking after myself (after all, a wise person once said that "a human is only a houseplant with complex emotions" - Unknown). I made myself go to bed a bit earlier, drink some water instead of always drinking tea, go out for a walk, eat something with vegetables. Slowly but surely I started to feel better on the inside. The internal voices telling me it was my fault she was leaving became quieter, so by the time she left for NZ I was sad to see her go, but excited for the new life she was about to start and the opportunities it would give her.

I won't always get the time zones right and I will miss my sister while she's away. But in the meantime, if I keep looking after myself the same way I'm now looking after the houseplant, she will have a healthy, happy sister to come back to if she chooses to.